Perfectionism is something many of us have succumbed too at some point in our life. However, for some perfectionism has become a way of life or rather a way of being. Like wearing a badge of honour. If this is you, it maybe such a big part of your life that you may have been unaware how much it is slowing you down or stopping you.
How Perfectionism is Slowing you Down or Stopping You
Perfectionism has been banded about as if it is something to feel proud about but have you ever considered the cost?
In this video from my Mindset Monday Session I explain what the definition of perfectionism is to others also also ways to overcome what can easily become a self-sabotaging, self-fulfilling prophecy for failure.
I have heard many people (and yes been guilty of this myself in the past) using the ‘I am a perfectionist’ as a way to describe a skill or positive attribute when in an interview situation. You may use this a label when talking to others about you in your business or as a Parent, Carer as examples. However to others the interpretation or meaning of this can be quite different.
A Different Perspective
For others it can mean that you are unable to complete a project, task, or at best it will be late or delayed. For the need for it to be perfect is purely a perception. Your perception of what the end result should be or how it should look and here begins the issue.
Perfectionism is coming from a place of lack of self-worth, never being good enough. In contrast you could be doing your best, and to the best of your capability which is coming from love and acceptance.
As a experiment, sit with these two concepts and see what you can feel, where and how in your body and mind.
The need to be perfect.
Doing your best and to the best of your capability.
How did they feel? Take Note. I know for my clients most report that when coming from a doing your best mentality there is less resistance and stress within the body and Mind.
Overcoming the need for Perfectionism
Once you recognise that you have a need for perfectionism or are using it as a form of self-sabotage it is not a mere case of overcoming it overnight through recognition. You need a tool, a tangible way of being to overcome it.
As in the video we can help to overcome these feelings or even this need for perfectionism using EFT – Emotional Freedom Technique also known as Tapping.
Perfectionism at it’s core is a fear response that fires up in the amygdala part of the brain. We concentrate on the feeling or thought of Perfectionism and how that manifests for us to ensure we do activate the amygdala response which is why we use a setup statement.
Even though I feel the need to be perfect and to do things perfectly, I truly and completely love and accept myself anyway.
The reason for this is for the brain there is no difference in thought or action, in other words memory or reality, it being in the now or being a thought in the now. The same response fires up.
Once we activate that we can rate the intensity on a scale of 0-10. 0 being no feeling or response and being totally cool about it, 10 being the most painful, profound or intense feeling we could experience.
We then use the setup statement to start as above and continue with:
Even though I feel this perfectionism, or this need this need to be perfect within my body, I truly and completely feel calm and at peace with it now
Even though I have feel need to perfect all the time, I truly and completely love and accept myself and I am ready to let that go
These setup statements help to identify the issue and keep us focused. We then go through the tapping points as demonstrated in the video.
Let me know in the comments how much this has helped and if you would like to have a copy of the tapping points download the EFT Cheat Sheet.
Love, Light and Blessings