This time of year the hot topic has already turned to ‘New Years Resolutions’ but for many these well intentioned resolutions will have gone by the way side in a matter of weeks or months
In my experience as an Intuitive Coach and prior to that as an EFT Advanced Practitioner and Intuitive Psychic I was in prime position to hear about others self-loathing, berating and feelings of guilt at having already let their resolutions slide.
However, from someone like myself, whose life is dedicated to helping those ascertain what their dreams and desires are. Then helping them to achieve them, it is quite clear to see why so many New Years Resolutions fail.
Why Most New Years Resolutions Fail
Firstly, they are often more off the cuff or along the lines of ‘wishes’ than resolutions. By wishes I mean responsibility has already been absolved. As though it is something out of a the intender’s control. To make a resolution obtainable first we must be able to take responsibility for the actions needed to obtain it. After all a resolution really is no more than a ‘Goal’. A goal that is successfully achieved is one that as many of you maybe familiar with follows the S.M.A.R.T analogy.
S.M.A.R.T stands for Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, Time Defined. I use the word Time Defined although many may use Time Limited/Constrained or Time-Bound. Personally in my coaching experience the more positive and action orientated your words the better the results.
What do words have to do with results? Actually, a great deal. There have been many successful scientific studies that have measured the effects that words have on matter. Maybe the most well known conducted by Dr Masaru Emoto with regards to words and water.
As our bodies are up to 60% water with our brains and hearts being made up of 73% water, you can clearly see how our words and thoughts can actually have a dramatic effect on our entire being.
As an Intuitive Coach I take a more holistic approach and incorporate many philosophies to ensure achievable and repeatable success. This brings me onto another reason as to why New Years Resolutions rarely stand the test of time, or lead to success or achievement. The resolution is what I call a ‘surface response’, meaning that it lacks the depth needed to pursue it when you are lacking motivation. This equates to the reason you would like to change.
As weight loss is one of the most popular New Years Resolutions I will use that as an example. Stating that you would like to lose weight is not enough of a reason or ‘why’, to keep you from eating your favourite snack. Or turning over and going back to sleep as opposed to carrying out the exercise you had previously stated you were going to do.
If for example, you had stated that you wanted to lose 10lbs within 3 months and had written the specific date that was to be achieved. Then, also went into why. For example, to fit into the outfit you want to buy for …. Wedding. Or because you want to be able to breath more easily as the extra weight has been putting a strain on your respiratory system. Or because you felt much more like ‘you’ when you were a size …. fill in the blank. Now you are already more invested in the outcome as you have an outcome to focus on. One you can feel and visualise.
Another reason many find New Years Resolutions so challenging, is the lack of accountability. I have always been fascinated as to how people in general are much more likely to adhere to a goal, aim, or even a resolution if they have declared it to another and that person holds them accountable. For many they would rather not let the other person down, yet they may let themselves down all the time. This is also a prominent aspect I work on with my clients. The other influencer of having a person to be accountable too, is that it helps to keep the goal, aim or resolution at the forefront, a continuous focus. The continuous focus also makes it much easier to make tweaks if needed to stay on track, rather than larger adjustments.
Timing maybe another issue as to why your New Years Resolutions have failed to make it past the first month. You need to feel ready. coming from a feeling of ‘having too’ is already putting you in a more defensive mode. For some they may ‘need’ their resolution to take effect now, but without overcoming the mindset of ‘having to’ which again, is absolving responsibility and projecting that onto another the resolution is likely to fail. As mentioned earlier taking 100% responsibility for the actions needed in your resolution is one of the very first steps.
“You have to take 100% responsibility for the actions needed to obtain it”
Are you setting resolutions? What will they be? And have any of these points helped you to frame them better?
Love, Light and Blessings
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