“If you don’t like something change it; if you can’t change it, change the way you think about it.” ~ Mary Engelbreit
I came across an old blog post from a previous blog that was written about this time 7 years ago and it is still as relevant today.
If you don’t like something change it; if you can’t change it, change the way you think about it.
This is an amazing saying from Mary Engelbriet and one that I fully take to heart.
Today someone said something to me that not only knocked my confidence but also cut right to the core. I do not necessarily think this person did these things intentionally as is often the case. To be honest it is also not like me to allow words to affect me but sometimes they catch you off guard and they just do!
To ensure this does not spiral into a mind monkey situation and completely ruin the day, I feel it is important to look at it differently. This helps to feel about it differently.
The affect of words
As an EFT Advanced practitioner I often talk about the affect of words during my sessions and also during public speaking engagements. Words can only affect you if you allow them too and you allow them too by attaching a feeling to them.
This feeling can either be positive, such as the feeling you get when someone says “I love you” or “you look great” and on the other side they can be negative such as “you’re not good enough” or “you’re fat“.
There are many examples that could be used but let’s take the negative and change the way we think about it.
In the above example “you’re not good enough“, which is very common and would come up in my EFT sessions all the time. I would ask my clients how they felt if I helped turn that around by saying “I know you are capable of doing much better/much more“. This is known as re-phrasing. There are a few important aspects to this sentence:-
- we are addressing the issues not ignoring it
- we are not completely denying the sentence that caused upset (this is to avoid an argumentative dialogue that is easily avoidable and unnecessary)
- we have created space for a possible different outcome
For my clients they reported feeling differently; in their view they felt the sentence came from a position of love and caring instead of hate and bitterness.
We all have the power to turn around those types of comments and also experiences, ensuring they no longer affect our day. We can change the perception by changing the words and the way we look at what has been said to us or directed at us. Today I have had to take my own advice and luckily for me it was a friend of mine that reminded me of this and I am so grateful, just goes to show that no matter how much you know you still have to practice what you preach!
Love, Light snd Blessings